In the days that followed I learned what it meant to be a wife. Trevor couldn't walk, he couldn't sit up, he couldn't go to the bathroom alone. I was his constant aid, waiting on him, and I loved every second of it. I learned he needed a relentless encourager. When he sat up for the first time by himself in a chair, I cried. When he brushed his teeth for the first time I rejoiced with him. When he took his first steps away from the bed, I thought I was going to have a heart attack but I told him how proud I was and how amazing he was doing.
At 42 weeks pregnant I slept in a chair beside his bed for a week. I read scripture to him out loud whenever he needed, and I was silent and didn't speak when he needed that too. It was hard not to hug him for an entire week when he was right there in front of you. All I wanted him to do was sweep me up his arms like he used to and swirl me around. But those days were gone for a while.
I decided that I was going to have this baby by C-section so that he could be there. We didn't want to risk me going into labor on my own, because that would cause too much stress on Trevor and not be good for his blood pressure. So 6 days after Trevor had brain surgery, he sat with me in the room as our son was born and he was the first one to hold him.
The surgery had many affects on him. One was his eyesight. Everything below the middle point of his vision was double. This made walking very difficult, as you can imagine. He also had nausea. They had to remove part of his balance, coordination and nausea center to get to the tumor, so they told him he could very well have nausea problems the rest of his life. I remember how different Trevor was after surgery. He got frustrated really easily and got mad at little things. No matter how hard I tried sometimes I just couldn't get him to smile. I was scared. The "normal" Trevor always, always had a smile ready. It was going to take some time getting used to this new Trevor.
Trevor was amazing through it all. Re-learning everything and nausea and his first son being born, he fought hard to do things right and learn them quickly. He recovered at an amazing rate and had the doctors and nurses completely stunned at his progress. He was in Martial Arts before this and the parts of the brain they cut out were healing fast because he had trained them so well. God takes care of His own in amazing ways...
|Brushing his teeth by himself for the first time|
|My bed for a week and a half at 42 weeks pregnant|
|The night before we had Jeremiah|
|The day we were sent home together|
I won't go into detail about the days after we were sent home. They are some of my darkest and I will save them for another time...maybe I will write about them in my other blog, "Let it grow..."
2 weeks after surgery we found out that they type of tumor Trevor had was Pylocytic Astrocytoma. Basically, there are 4 levels of brain tumors, and his was the very 1st level, which is the best to have, if you have one. It's slow growing, non-cancerous. We rejoiced greatly. That meant no radiation, no chemo-therapy!! The doctor also said he was completely positive he got all of the tumor, and that Trevor was 100% CURED. He actually said this 2 weeks after surgery.
Trevor's nausea has completely vanished. His balance and coordination are not what they were before surgery, but they are at the level of a normal 20 year old male now. We've had a few scares over the past year, but today, Trevor is completely healed. We've had 2 MRI's since surgery and both have been clear of any signs of tumors growing back. They are most likely to grow back the first 2 years, so we're not completely out of the woods, but the possibility gets smaller and smaller as each day goes by.
It's incredible, writing all this out and thinking back on it. I'm reminded of God's incredible grace and mercy, and His awesome power to save. I can honestly say though, that the night before surgery, I came to a point of total spiritual exhaustion, total numbness and grief. I was so afraid. But finally, after hours of weeping and laying at the feet of Jesus, I did come to the point of giving it to God and being okay with whatever happened the next day. He was still going to be God. And that's how I feel now. If the tumor comes back, God is still the same God He was when things were going well. It won't be easy, but I know God will be there, my Rock and my Fortress.
Thanks for reading our story. If you have any questions, please email me firstname.lastname@example.org
To start from the beginning of our love story...go here